Ok, I know we’re all hooked on this Oscar Pistorious Murder Trial with mixed feelings of whether his shooting of Reeva was premediditated, premedditionated, ahhh f*ck it, yall know what im tryna say (that pre what-what word they keep saying on TV)…or if it was really just a case of mistaken identity. Well let me shut it down and wrap this case up once and forall.
So Oscar was chilling on the bed with his iPhone5 32Gig checking out WhatsApp messages and nudes from his sidechicks le bo OOMF ba hae. Reeva noticed that Oscar was smiling with his phone and she started suspecting (You know how women are.. *hides*).
She asked him: “O senang ha kale kale le phone eo ya hao?” Oscar: “Ha se taba ya hao, akere ke phone yaka!”, knowing how nosey women are, Reeva a chamola iPhone ya Oscar and ran to the bathroom with it, locked herself in the toilet, and started going through all the nudes tsa bo OOMF.
Oscar was so furious with Reeva, got off his bed and ‘ran’ after her into the bathroom, only to find out that she locked herself in the toilet.(Akere jwale white people have a bathroom, and then they have a toilet somewhere inside the bathroom…levels boss, levels!)
Oscar: “Bula mona wena sf*be!”, Reeva: “Kea hana! Ke batla ho bona what is it that you don’t want me to see on this stupid phone of yours!”, Oscar: “Bula maan wena pele ke teneha!”, Reeva: “He wena Oscar, Nthabiseng ke mang?? O sendelana di nudes le bo Nthabiseng ba mas*pa! Ibile ere ke mo founele sf*be seo!”.
At this point Oscar got really really mad and started panicking thinking about the implications of Reeva calling bo OOMF. He shouted “ke tlo o thunya o swabe hao sa buli mona! NXA!”. Then Oscar ‘ran’ to his bedroom, switched on the light (Yeah I know he said the lights were off, mara akere rea tseba o mashano dai maan), grabbed his gun from under the bed, went back to the bathroom, and shouted to Reeva once again: “Bula mona pele keo thunya!”, Reeva: “Ntswaki ke mang wena Oscar??”…Oscar wanted to scare Reeva and fired the first shot *GWAAA*, Reeva screamed so loud that Oscar panicked and ‘accidentally’ went on a shooting spree *GWAAA GWAAA GWAAA*…. :(
And unfortunately that was it for the poor girl. *sheds a thug tear*
Knowing that the neighbors probably heard Reeva’s screams and the gunshots, Oscar started screaming like a little girl ho re a ska jumpisa…satane eo!
Well, that’s what I really believe happened that night, ofcoz nobody but Oskido knows the truth. Let’s just chill and hope bra Gerrie Nel drills the truth out of Oscar and justice gets served.
And if my rendition is true, la nkolota!