It is said that love is a form of friendship and is the basis of any romantic relationship or marriage. Sitting down and analyzing these statements, it does make sense. Friendship; a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. A type of friendship of two people who care about each other. Romantic love; a stronger form of friendship that involves romance and a formal union of people who love each other.
Just like a building or any type of structure, the base is always important. It supports and holds the structure together. Let us think of romantic love as a structure and friendship being the base. Friendship consists of loyalty, trust, and understanding, supporting and being there for each other. The base is the first and most important phase of building a strong structure. So without friendship, the marriage will not be strong. It will hold on for a while but eventually collapse.
A couple of days ago I was talking to a lady who is in a long term relationship. I asked her how they do it, being in a relationship for so long. Does it not get boring and start wearing out? She simply told me that their love is like friendship on fire, I just nodded at the time but now I understand what she meant. Fire is combustion, or burning in which substances combine chemically with oxygen to typically give out bright light and heat. When starting a fire you need matches, wood, paper and other materials to burn. Without these things, you cannot start a fire. Think back to the previous example I made about a structure. At the end of it all, fire provides light, warmth and healing. It is magical, beautiful and holds power. I’ll leave that right there …
Love and friendship combined is a blessed event, a beneficial interaction. Romantic love or marriage for that matter simply cannot survive without friendship hence the saying “It is not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” I would think one would dread waking up next to their partner and have to utter the dreadful words “all I know is that I woke up one day and I didn’t have my friend anymore.”
By : Boipelo Mokgothu